That Scene

I feel like if my life were a movie it would be at the point where they do that slow motion/fast forward thing. You know when it zooms in on someone doing something like blinking and they slowly turn their head and the scene changes and it is later in their life, still in slow motion and they are laughing with friends around the dinner table and then it changes again and someone died , then all of a sudden they are slow motion walking down the street, etc. Add Imogen Heap’s Hide and Seek* in the background and voi-la, my life as a major motion picture.

*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhVfeOAgmAw&feature=related

I am afraid to buy my ticket home.* I want to be home but I also don’t want to leave. A ticket makes the return a reality and it is a bit nerve racking to leave this little home I have established here. The people, the house, the culture, you know, return to a place where life has gone on without me for a year. It is odd.

*Ultimately, since starting this post, I did purchase my return flight. It was scary but I have come to terms with it. I am jaunting around Europe a bit (Spain, Germany and Ireland) to visit former foreign exchange students/because it is cheap and then will be back the first week of June.

I miss my parents (yes, both of them) so much that some days I physically miss them. You cannot understand this until you experience it; physically missing someone. It does not hurt, you just feel it. You feel their absence; your whole body wants them back. I would say I spend at least 20% of my day thinking about them, what happened, what I would like to tell them. It never stops.

I am so excited about my choice of major. I have been shadowing in an international elementary school here* and it is amazing. I love being in the classroom. I love the kids. I get to come up with projects sometimes. It is absolutely something I want to do. I understand that it will be a bit stressful and I am fast learning that being a teacher is physically exhausting but I love it. I am also leaning heavily toward elementary school. I enjoy the other levels and would teach them but there is just something about the excitement of first graders that draws me in. Also, teaching in an international venue is becoming very alluring. I like the international community.** I am thinking that starting my career abroad may be the way to go, spend some time in other countries and then living in America ultimately. The only thing that dissuades me from this plan is I love the people back home. I miss them and am not sure I want to live years of my life away from them. Granted visits would happen but do I want to base my closest relationships on visits? It is a tough choice. Hmm…we will see where I end up I guess. I am also still planning on going to some form of culinary school for baking so maybe I will just end up being a famous cookie maker as well. You never know.

* Mostly for rich Egyptians and ex-pat kids which I am not sure I want to teach ultimately but it has been a wonderful experience. For example, the other day, one 2nd grader drew a face and another kid pointed at it and said it looked like Yasser Arafat. What American child living in America would say that?

** They are a generous and open minded people. Kids grow up learn multiple languages and are aware of the world and other people in it. They open their homes and lives to all newcomers because that is what everyone is almost always; you live somewhere for 1-5 years then move. That is unless you are like Kim and Rebecca and stay somewhere for over 15.

The weather: It has been raining in Egypt lately. (I guess this is normal for March) It was 50 degrees and hailed at the beginning of the week and is 86 today. I am not ready to be sweaty again. Plus I guess the sandstorms are going to be coming regularly soon. We had one out on campus, that was enough for me.

The weeks seem to fly by. I will be back home in no time. I look at pictures and miss Wisconsin more that I can say but I know that as soon as I leave here I will feel the same about Cairo and the people that have become like family here. I have concluded that once you branch out and leave home once you will always miss someone. There are people everywhere who I care about and I have finally really realized that there will never be a time when I can be with all of them at the same time. How unfortunate.